May 30, 2015

Free

Chaos runs in streams
Down her shoulders
In uncontrollable tresses
A glimpse of her untamed nativity

Few can take the plunge
Into the dark of her eyes
An abysmal beauty
She swallows you whole
If you let her

The symmetrical savages
Her lips
They hold back the fire
Frozen in place
She won't burn you
While she burns away

A hand traces her outline
Easing through the hotter parts
Down, down, deeper
There is more than blood
That courses through her

You stand too close
Unnerved and excited by the climax
Closer still, to her mystery

And you wait
You wait
Till she sets herself free






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45 comments:

  1. Sarah malikMay 30, 2015 at 4:48 PM

    This is a beautifully penned work. Loved the flow and rhythm. FollowIng you. And hope to connect with you on my blog too!

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  2. Vandana SharmaMay 30, 2015 at 8:27 PM

    I feel as if her every part of soul is being drained. nice emotions..

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    Replies
    1. Preeti S.June 3, 2015 at 4:24 PM

      There is a persistent feeling of chaos, yes. :)

      Delete
  3. Amrit SinhaMay 31, 2015 at 11:56 AM

    Another powerful verse from you ... just love the flow, the way it starts and the gradual transition :-)

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    Replies
    1. Preeti S.June 3, 2015 at 4:25 PM

      Thank you very much! Glad to see you here after such a long time. :)

      Delete
  4. SuyashJMay 31, 2015 at 7:42 PM

    I think this was my favorite work on this blog... very well done here...

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  5. Jae RoseJune 3, 2015 at 6:16 PM

    She sounds like a force to be reckoned with - I like her for that!

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  6. HardiJune 5, 2015 at 3:20 AM

    This is so beautiful, I just love this :)

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  7. brudbergJune 7, 2015 at 2:19 PM

    A seductress that burns herself much more than her suitors.. sounds like a self-destructive road to walk.. good that she find her way to freedom at last.

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  8. Peter CoddleJune 7, 2015 at 2:34 PM

    Why am I thinking of my kindergarten teacher?

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  9. Sanaa RizviJune 7, 2015 at 2:57 PM

    Beautiful & emotive write!

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  10. J Cosmo NewberyJune 7, 2015 at 3:21 PM

    Untamed nativity! I think i shall have a wee lie down.

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  11. kaykualaJune 7, 2015 at 3:26 PM

    And you wait
    You wait
    Till she sets herself free

    She sure is a formidable character. The man has to give way most times apparently!

    Hank

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    Replies
    1. Preeti S.June 13, 2015 at 10:23 AM

      Probably. But I think, she would be a bit self-absorbed to notice the world and people moving about her. She is still caught up, she still isn't free. That is why the wait is crucial.

      Delete
  12. Sumana RoyJune 7, 2015 at 4:58 PM

    great sketch of an enchantress...pity the souls who drown in the abyss of her eyes...

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    Replies
    1. Preeti S.June 13, 2015 at 10:27 AM

      I would not pity them. Those who choose to take that plunge, get a closer glimpse of her being and probably begin to understand her.

      I never pictured her as an enchantress, rather as someone too painfully common and caught up in her own mental entanglements. Maybe the sense of mystery that others associate with her, lend her the 'enchanting quality'. :)

      Delete
  13. Old EggJune 7, 2015 at 5:09 PM

    What an arousing piece of writing, but clearly her partner is doing something right!

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  14. MaryJune 7, 2015 at 6:05 PM

    This poem really creates a vivid word picture!

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  15. SusanJune 7, 2015 at 9:09 PM

    Perhaps it is good that few can take the plunge--or rise to the challenge. I'm sure she is too often disappointed. But this time was just fine.

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    Replies
    1. Preeti S.June 13, 2015 at 10:29 AM

      Spot on! Her past disappointments are an integral part of her chaos and fire burning within. This time, hopefully, it would be different. :)

      Delete
  16. UnknownJune 7, 2015 at 9:53 PM

    Very beautiful and vivid image :D Well penned!

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  17. C.C.June 7, 2015 at 11:40 PM

    I love the way you have personified Chaos and made it a part of her being. Such stellar writing.

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    1. Preeti S.June 13, 2015 at 10:36 AM

      We all carry stray bits of chaos within ourselves. For some, their chaos is more visible, than others.

      Thank you for your wonderful comment. :)

      Delete
  18. Sherry Blue SkyJune 8, 2015 at 1:00 AM

    An intriguing piece. She is a force, yet is still in the process of setting herself free. I liked the closing lines very much.

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    1. Preeti S.June 13, 2015 at 10:38 AM

      Yes, indeed. A constricted force is a recipe for destruction, right?

      Thank you for reading. :)

      Delete
  19. DonnaJune 8, 2015 at 1:21 AM

    Wow is this a hot sensual poem...love the start!

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

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  20. ZQJune 8, 2015 at 5:41 AM

    Sensual... and well written.
    ZQ

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  21. totomaiJune 8, 2015 at 7:06 AM

    Free from chaos - chaos herself. At times powerful, at times submissed. Most importantly, she's free

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    Replies
    1. Preeti S.June 13, 2015 at 10:43 AM

      She isn't free yet, I think. But she is struggling and soon, she will be free. Persistence can work wonders, right? :)

      Delete
  22. Gen Giggles June 8, 2015 at 6:34 PM

    Here you have created a poem to leave someone hot and bothered.

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    Replies
    1. Preeti S.June 13, 2015 at 10:44 AM

      Mission accomplished!

      I'm constantly trying to reinvent my writing style. It's always glad to hear such a positive feedback for a piece that is mostly experimental. Thank you. :)

      Delete
  23. M S MahawarJune 15, 2015 at 5:55 PM

    Beautifully written!

    Lovelorn Poetry

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A reflection shared is an insight gained. :)

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