Chaos runs in streams
Down her shoulders
In uncontrollable tresses
A glimpse of her untamed nativity
Few can take the plunge
Into the dark of her eyes
An abysmal beauty
She swallows you whole
If you let her
The symmetrical savages
Her lips
They hold back the fire
Frozen in place
She won't burn you
While she burns away
A hand traces her outline
Easing through the hotter parts
Down, down, deeper
There is more than blood
That courses through her
You stand too close
Unnerved and excited by the climax
Closer still, to her mystery
And you wait
You wait
Till she sets herself free
Down her shoulders
In uncontrollable tresses
A glimpse of her untamed nativity
Few can take the plunge
Into the dark of her eyes
An abysmal beauty
She swallows you whole
If you let her
The symmetrical savages
Her lips
They hold back the fire
Frozen in place
She won't burn you
While she burns away
A hand traces her outline
Easing through the hotter parts
Down, down, deeper
There is more than blood
That courses through her
You stand too close
Unnerved and excited by the climax
Closer still, to her mystery
And you wait
You wait
Till she sets herself free
This is a beautifully penned work. Loved the flow and rhythm. FollowIng you. And hope to connect with you on my blog too!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteI feel as if her every part of soul is being drained. nice emotions..
ReplyDeleteThere is a persistent feeling of chaos, yes. :)
DeleteAnother powerful verse from you ... just love the flow, the way it starts and the gradual transition :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! Glad to see you here after such a long time. :)
DeleteI think this was my favorite work on this blog... very well done here...
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a regular reader. :)
DeleteShe sounds like a force to be reckoned with - I like her for that!
ReplyDeleteShe wishes to be one, yes. :)
DeleteThis is so beautiful, I just love this :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteA seductress that burns herself much more than her suitors.. sounds like a self-destructive road to walk.. good that she find her way to freedom at last.
ReplyDeleteGreat interpretation! :)
DeleteWhy am I thinking of my kindergarten teacher?
ReplyDeleteAha. Now, I am curious. Why, indeed?
DeleteBeautiful & emotive write!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteUntamed nativity! I think i shall have a wee lie down.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteAnd you wait
ReplyDeleteYou wait
Till she sets herself free
She sure is a formidable character. The man has to give way most times apparently!
Hank
Probably. But I think, she would be a bit self-absorbed to notice the world and people moving about her. She is still caught up, she still isn't free. That is why the wait is crucial.
Deletegreat sketch of an enchantress...pity the souls who drown in the abyss of her eyes...
ReplyDeleteI would not pity them. Those who choose to take that plunge, get a closer glimpse of her being and probably begin to understand her.
DeleteI never pictured her as an enchantress, rather as someone too painfully common and caught up in her own mental entanglements. Maybe the sense of mystery that others associate with her, lend her the 'enchanting quality'. :)
What an arousing piece of writing, but clearly her partner is doing something right!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is. Maybe he isn't. :)
DeleteThis poem really creates a vivid word picture!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeletePerhaps it is good that few can take the plunge--or rise to the challenge. I'm sure she is too often disappointed. But this time was just fine.
ReplyDeleteSpot on! Her past disappointments are an integral part of her chaos and fire burning within. This time, hopefully, it would be different. :)
DeleteVery beautiful and vivid image :D Well penned!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteI love the way you have personified Chaos and made it a part of her being. Such stellar writing.
ReplyDeleteWe all carry stray bits of chaos within ourselves. For some, their chaos is more visible, than others.
DeleteThank you for your wonderful comment. :)
An intriguing piece. She is a force, yet is still in the process of setting herself free. I liked the closing lines very much.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed. A constricted force is a recipe for destruction, right?
DeleteThank you for reading. :)
Wow is this a hot sensual poem...love the start!
ReplyDeleteDonna@LivingFromHappiness
Thank you! Glad to hear that. :)
DeleteSensual... and well written.
ReplyDeleteZQ
Thank you for reading. :)
DeleteFree from chaos - chaos herself. At times powerful, at times submissed. Most importantly, she's free
ReplyDeleteShe isn't free yet, I think. But she is struggling and soon, she will be free. Persistence can work wonders, right? :)
DeleteHere you have created a poem to leave someone hot and bothered.
ReplyDeleteMission accomplished!
DeleteI'm constantly trying to reinvent my writing style. It's always glad to hear such a positive feedback for a piece that is mostly experimental. Thank you. :)
Beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteLovelorn Poetry